Letting Go
I want to thank everyone who left a comment on my previous post or sent me email. They were all very much appreciated.
I returned home Friday after my dad’s memorial service in Arizona. I had to rush back home to attend my son’s black belt test in taekwondo today. I was torn between staying and spending time with my family when it is much needed and being here to support my son in his triumph after he put in 4 years of hard work to achieve his goal. Watching him today I know I made the right choice but it’s hard to not be with my brother, sister and dad’s wife right now.
My dad was an incredible person and the loss is going to take some time to get over but life goes on and I have numerous wonderful memories to comfort me. Letting go is never easy but it’s time.
In January I posted my very optimistic list of goals for the year. When I wrote those goals I knew it would be very difficult to meet them as my dad was diagnosed with cancer in October and I lost my 2 grandmothers in September and December 2006. But we were very optimistic and sure my dad would beat this and I new that goals and structure would help me through these difficult times and keep me motivated and focused. I was thinking positive and looking to move forward.
Then in January my mom’s husband passed away (it’s not been a very good year for my family). So things got off to a rough start. After a bit I was able to refocus and I muddled through the year meeting some goals and completely blowing others. The worst was sending out a postcard to the press as a teaser for an upcoming press release. Then I went to visit my dad and all motivation for writing the press release disappeared and it never happened. Probably a serious crime in the world of dealing with the press for an unknown artist but so be it. It wasn’t meant to happen.
My studio newsletter is still non-existent and in general most of my business plans didn’t come to fruition due to neglect. I’ve come to terms with it all and accept that things will happen when it’s time. This was not the year for some of these things.
There are some bright spots in the year, such as being asked to curate a show at an art center in 2008 (more on that soon), and I have no regrets. I focused on my family and that was what I needed and wanted.
This fall I realized the year didn’t pan out as expected so I entered some juried shows for the emotional boost those acceptances provide. So far I’m running 3 for 3 in acceptances with 4 more still to hear from. While these juried shows aren’t my future they seemed like just the right fit for the year I’m having.
I’m chalking this up as a year of experimenting and learning (ie etsy is not for me).
And letting go.
And most importantly - moving forward even when things are difficult. The direction may not be as planned but moving forward and thinking positively has helped me keep on going.
Again - thank you for all of your support this past week.
The above photo is of an agave that bloomed this spring in my dad’s yard.
Posted by Lisa in: Being an Artist, Goals
Tagged: agave, goals, healing, letting go
Diane Clancy said,
October 13, 2007 @ 10:11 pm
Hi Lisa, as you say, this has been quite a year for you. I had a year - twice - that was pretty wild with loss. And we each grieve in our own ways for sure. I am glad you are lowering your expectations and finding ways to boost yourself - like the juried shows. And please keep being gentle with yourself. It is wonderful to geel like you can let go, and for most of us that comes in stages. Just keep being kind to you and I am glad you are sharing with us!!
~ Diane Clancy
http://www.dianeclancy.com/blog
Monica McGregor said,
October 13, 2007 @ 11:31 pm
Lisa, I admire your focus and productiveness. Maybe look at it this way – even though you haven’t done everything you wanted to this year, the fact that you set ambitious goals means you got a lot more done than you likely would have otherwise.
DebbieG said,
October 14, 2007 @ 7:43 am
Lisa,
I am a long time lurker. I am constantly impressed and amazed by everything you manage to accomplish. I am married with two children and a part time job and I would be thrilled to accomplish half of what you do. I am glad that you set your goals and take them seriously, but are flexible enough to know when to be comfortable with what you have done. I am so sorry for all the losses you and your family have had this year. I hope the next year brings you all happier times.
Cheryl McClure said,
October 14, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother in law and father in law just passed away as well…….18 days apart. They had a long life but it’s always hard to let go even when it’s expected.
Vikki said,
October 15, 2007 @ 11:50 am
Sorry to hear about your father. You and your family will be in my prayers!
((hugs))
jafabrit said,
October 15, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
Gosh, you have had a lot of losses in a short time :( sending my condolences for the loss of your father.
Watching your blog for several months now I think you have done so much, some of it tangible and some of it in learning how to assess and approach what you do from a business/practical angle. I think you should give yourself some credit.
Robin Walker said,
October 16, 2007 @ 10:36 am
Oh Lisa - I’m so sorry about your dad. You have had a year full of challenges, that’s for sure. My prayers are with you. Robin
Jessica said,
October 17, 2007 @ 10:54 pm
So sorry to hear of your loss, Lisa. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you, xoxo Jess