Holding Intent - Part VI - Fear
Markings #10 ©2007 69"x 77"
Another Sign on My Wall
In January I started a series of posts about intent and things I do to help me hold my intent and stay on track. I got sidetracked with all the postings about my show, Markings: Repetition and Pattern, now on exhibit in Boulder but it felt like a good day to write about fear so I’m combining the two topics.
In 1998 or 1999 I read Who Moved My Cheese
My favorite quote from the book, which I immediately wrote on a piece a paper and hung on my studio wall:
Real Courage
I had just joined my first critique group and I was terrified. I had a group of women I respected that were going to tell me what they thought of my art. I started to second guess everything I was doing in my studio. What would they say, would like like it, could I handle their comments?
The fear ground my art production to a near halt. I remember sitting for long periods of time staring at this sign. Slowly I let the message sink in and I went back to work.
Real courage is not about waiting until the fear is gone before you proceed. It’s about proceeding in the face of fear. I rarely let fear stop me from creating now but I can still taste that feeling I had almost 10 years ago. And I’m not going back there.
I still have self doubts but I don’t let those voices speak very loudly anymore. I now act as if I am not afraid and move forward and the fear slowly dissolves.
Enough Time
When I wrote the post about there always being enough time to do the important things in my life, I mentioned that when we find ourselves not doing something it is likely to be something that we don’t really value.
The other thing I find is that I avoid things that I am afraid of. I use the excuse there is no time to do it, but the reality is I’m afraid of it. Recognizing this fear and admitting to it is a huge first step to just getting on with things. To having the courage to do it anyway.
Fear is not comfortable but the only way I know to make it go away is to face it head on. It’s why my word for the year is courage. Much of the marketing stuff I used to claim I don’t have time for is really stuff I’m afraid of doing. My intention is to become a self supporting artist and to hold this intention I have to face fear every day and just do the marketing work anyway.
Markings #10
Back in October I posted some images of Markings #10 in progress that capture the texture that is created with my extensive surface stitching. This piece is the largest artwork I’ve made to date (not counting traditional bed quilts I’ve made) at almost 37 square feet. It took me 55 hours to do the surface stitching on the entire piece.
It also speaks to what I wrote about Friday, the disruptions in the pattern. I feel that without the unexpected changes in the pattern, my art and my life would get a bit monotonous and stale. The trick is to appreciate these disruptions for the beauty they provide instead of getting bent out of shape, just like the mice in Who Moved My Cheese.
Related Holding Intent Posts
Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I [Realistic Goals]
Holding Intent - Part II [Excuses]
Holding Intent - Part III [Focus]
Holding Intent - Part IV [Enough Time]
Holding Intent - Part V [Self Care]
Posted by Lisa in: Abstract Contemporary Textile Art, Intent
Tagged: courage, fear, Intent, marketing, Markings Series, Markings: Repetition and Pattern
Amanda said,
March 2, 2008 @ 6:13 pm
Hi Lisa,
I just recently discovered your blog through one of those circuitous web-surfing trails that are impossible to re-trace…I just wanted to let you know how impressed I am and how well-written and thoughtful I find your posts. I have lots of reading here still to do, but I am looking forward to it. This is definitely one of those high quality blogs that stand out on the web. Well done and thank-you.
Cindy Haase said,
March 2, 2008 @ 9:58 pm
Lisa, I found your website through Making A Mark blog by Katherine Tyrell.
Just love your fiber art! I live in Littleton and hope to run into you one day.
Cynthia said,
March 3, 2008 @ 10:27 am
I was probably one of those few people who didn’t read “Who Moved My Cheese?” - but remember a lot of business travelers reading it on the plane (this is while I was still working for United).
Fear - I’ve felt it intensely a few times in my life and try to face it head on now-a-days. My favorite coping technique when I hesitate to do something is to ask myself, “Will this take away your oxygen?” 9 times out of 10 the answer is no - so I push myself forward.
Lisa Call said,
March 3, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
Thank you Amanda!
Cindy - how wonderful to meet another colorado artist. Especially one that blogs!
Cynthia - love the “will this take away your oxygen” line.
Miriam Badyrka said,
March 3, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
This rings so true to me. I have the same fear/avoidance thing in relation to marketing. I am forcing myself to move beyond it and do the marketing anyway. I wish you strength and perserverance as you move towards your goal.
I am always impressed by how clearly you express yourself.
Dianne said,
March 3, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
I have really enjoyed reading your blog the last couple of months.
As far as fear goes, I know that if I don’t face my fears and move out of my comfort zone every once in awhile I become a bit depressed. While I don’t always succeed when I face my fears, I do feel better about myself for at least trying.
Great subject!
Lisa Call said,
March 5, 2008 @ 9:19 pm
Thank you Miriam and I wish the same for you.
Dianne - I agree - not breaking out and trying new things can be a sad thing. I love getting out there and seeing what can happen.