Not To Do List
Structures #96 ©2008 16.5"x 28"
Toxic People and Behaviors
I was reading an email yesterday that recommended making a list of all the people in my life and putting a + or - next to each of them to see if there is a pattern for the toxic people in my life. I put a bit of thought into this but didn’t get far. My mind took a leap and I started thinking that the non supportive/negative people in my life were most likely a result of negative thinking and behavior on my part.
Seemed to me instead of focusing on the symptom (people I’ve allowed into my life that I feel are not supportive) that I’d be better off focusing on the cause (my own negative thoughts and behaviors). I can’t change the behavior of the people in my life but I can change myself.
I also believe there are no longer people in my life that I feel are unsupportive. I’ve found that as I focus more on the positive and once I got clear in how I wanted to be treated, the people that didn’t share those choices moved on. As I shed my negative thoughts the people that came with those unhealthy patterns also disappeared.
Not To Do List
Many books about getting organized and getting things done talk about the importance of making a not-to-do-list. Here’s mine. If I catch myself doing or thinking these things I change my thoughts and behavior to something more nurturing and positive.
- Negative thinking.
- Getting hooked into other people’s negative thinking.
- Complaining.
- Criticizing.
- Whining.
- Gossiping and Colluding.
- Checking email 4000 times a day.
- Reading blogs more than 1 hour a day.
- Surfing the internet when I could be doing something else (which is pretty much anytime).
- Checking Blog and Website stats more than once every 2 weeks.
To Do List
I’ve also thought a lot about my priorities and where I want to put my time and energy. Here is my short version of my to-do list:
- Being self accepting.
- Being authentic.
- Being honest.
- Being kind.
- Being generous.
- Being gentle.
- Complimenting others.
- Feeling gratitude.
- Living in the present.
- Going for walks.
- Working in my studio with no expectations.
- Hanging out with my kids.
- Spending time with my friends and family.
- Gardening and cooking.
- Living healthy
- Living life effortlessly.
Not Finishing
A final no-to-do - leaving my artwork unfinished. I thought I had Structures #95 and Structures #96 finished but last night as I was packaging them up to mail them off to my solo show at Lux, Fencing In or Keeping Out, (opens April 4 - more on that tomorrow or thursday) I discovered I didn’t have the hanging mechanism (a fabric tube) or labels sewn on to them. Oops!
I’ll chalk this one up to my Getting Things Done approach to stuff starting after I dropped the ball on this work.
Do you keep a not-to-do-list?
Posted by Lisa in: Being an Artist
Tagged: 21 day challenge, Fencing In or Keeping Out, Focus, lux center for the arts, Priorities, solo show
Dale Anne said,
March 25, 2008 @ 9:25 pm
I swear Lisa you are one day ahead of my thinking……….I have made a list of people who are NOT good for me and started a list of things I need to NOT be doing!
YES, I find sometimes the internet is a time waster and I could be using that time in my studio.
I’m so glad to know that I’m NOT the only one thinking of these things and I just bought David Allen’s Getting Things Done CDs on ebay……My daughter had his book out when we were in Toronto for Christmas and I quickly flipped thru it and found lots of great advice.
THANKS for your GREAT blog!!! Yours will stay on my bloglines…..
cynthia said,
March 26, 2008 @ 7:44 am
Oooooh - a lot to think about here! You definitely have your finger on my pulse right now.
jen said,
March 26, 2008 @ 8:58 am
I could just copy and paste your “not to do” list onto one for me, especially the blog reading, stat checking and email checking. Why are they so addictive?
Lisa Call said,
March 26, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Dale Anne - I love our parallel paths!
Cynthia - sounds like many of us are in the same place.
Jen - I know for me that checking stats gives me a sense of validity - makes me feel valued. Ditto probably for email. As for surfing the web - I think it’s inertia - sitting here is so much easier than moving forward some days!
Angela Moll said,
March 26, 2008 @ 10:57 pm
Good for you! Great lists!
Leslie said,
March 27, 2008 @ 2:33 am
Inspired by your post, Lisa, I’m starting my own to-do and not-to-do lists and will be posting them on my blog in the next few days.
I agree about the internet robbing us of precious time, while also granting us precious gifts, but I’m not sure I can make a commitment to limit my time on it at this point. I’m striving to improve my web presence and think that requires a higher investment for a while. The trick is/will be knowing when the time is well spent effort towards a goal and when it becomes compulsive… Certainly, I could greatly reduce my email and stat checks immediately!
Thanks for your blog, Lisa. So far, I consider my time reading it to be very well spent.
Seth said,
April 3, 2008 @ 6:22 pm
From one list writer to another — I would add to the To Do list that every single person should read your lists once a day!
Lisa Call said,
April 6, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
Thank Angela.
Leslie - I love your lists - they are wonderful!
Thanks Seth - I love writing lists :)