Lisa Call

Nature Abhors a Vacuum

Recently someone mentioned that they had a theory that when you clean stuff out of your life it creates a vacuum which will then suck stuff back in to fill the empty space.

I think it’s an interesting question as to what happens in our lives when we make some space. Be it time or physical stuff or even emotional crap. Do we just junk up the new space with the same old crap?

It’s certainly our nature to keep doing the same thing we’ve always done. I think if we live unconsciously within a short matter of time we just go back to old patterns and fill up our lives and homes and space with the same stuff.

Changing Habits

In the past 9 months I’ve gotten rid of close to 1/2 of my possessions and I’ve said no to a huge number of things - including some relationships that were not positive for me. I can see the tendency to just do the same thing as before - it’s easy - it’s well known - these are my habits.

I’ve been putting a lot of intention into not doing that. It’s uncomfortable at first - to have all that space - shelves and rooms that aren’t cluttered - spending only quality time with friends that support me - slowing down - cherishing the space.

It’s a big question - what do we do when we decide not to do the habitual thing?

There’s a lot of things that can rattle around in all that space. I’ve found that by just sitting with it and letting it be that I learn to grow comfortable with it. It was a challenge at first and I’m getting better at it each day.

I love my open uncluttered house, life and all the extra time I have. So I’m doing everything I can to stay aware of how wonderful it is so I don’t clutter it up again.

Home Repair Report

My hardwood floors are done. Now I’m having my house painted, inside and out. Moving things off the hardwood floor was a lot of work. Moving everything away from every wall so it can be painted. That’s really big work.

The result is there will unlikely be pictures on my blog over the next few weeks as I’m in the home stretch for getting the house on the market. My goal - June 3rd.

Priorities

In my series of posts on holding intent I’ve talked about some of the quotes I have on my studio wall. Here’s another related to priorities:

My Take on the Parts

What: I need to identify the specific tasks, or at the minimum the next task, that will get me to my goal. Without this breakdown of the parts it’s hard to identify the next action I should take to achieve a goal. Priorities imply that there are things to choose from, I need to identify those things.

I: There is only 1 person that is in charge of me reaching my goals - and it’s me. Taking responsibility for all of my choices and actions is a huge help in reaching my goals. It is not the internet’s fault that I waste time reading email and blogs, it was my choice. If I don’t like that choice and I can change it.

Doing: If I just sit around it’s unlikely my goals will be met.

Right Now: Worrying about the future or stressing out about the past isn’t going to move me forward. It’s when I stay in the present moment I make progress.

Closer: This is a process (and not a quick one), not a destination. Doing things gets me closer to my goals but I need to be patient and enjoy the journey, because without that the goal is rather empty. For me it’s about a life time commitment to living life one day at a time with the intention to be the person I want to be and living the life I want to have each day giving my situation in that exact moment.

Ultimate Goal: If I don’t know what I want and who I want to be, it’s kind of hard to make progress in that direction.

The Universe

On Alyson Standfield’s recommendation in January I signed up to get Notes from the Universe. I love these emails each morning as they make me smile and remind me that my thoughts do become my reality. Today’s was particularly relevant to my topic:

Where are you spending your time?

Dandelion, Oil on Canvas, 10" x 10", ©2007 Shan Bryan-Hanson
 

Too Tired to Think or Move

A few weeks ago I had a few nights in a row where I got very little sleep. As a result I was pretty wiped out for a few days. I went to the day job, checked email, chatted with kids, and that was about it. I realized that a very big key for me for holding my intent is to be well rested.

Not a super profound thought but it’s easy to fall into the trap of saying ‘I don’t have time to sleep 8 hours a day’. I find when I do that I end up getting less done. So really - I can’t afford to not sleep 8 hours a day.

Maybe I’m just getting old. I remember staying up 4 days in a row my last semester of college when I was 22 to complete a huge assignment in one of my classes. There is absolutely no way I could do that now.

In any case its bedtime because I have to be up at 5:30am to do yoga before getting the kids to school. I’ve only missed 2 mornings of yoga since Jan 1. It’s been harder to hold my intent of starting my day slowly with yoga and journaling with the kids home but its become a routine and it’s very important to me so I’m making it happen.

Art Trade

I love the above painting by Shan. She posted it on her blog in October last year and I went back and looked at it often thinking it needed to live at my house. I saved up enough to buy it earlier this year and was thrilled it was still available. I was even more thrilled when she asked to do a trade and selected Structures #71 in exchange.

Shan used to be one of my favorite bloggers. I loved her writing and obviously I love her art. She quit blogging last year and I still miss reading her thoughts.

Holding Intent - Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I [Realistic Goals]
Holding Intent - Part II [Excuses]
Holding Intent - Part III [Focus]
Holding Intent - Part IV [Enough Time]
Holding Intent - Part V [Self Care]
Holding Intent - Part VI [Fear]

Markings #10    ©2007    69"x 77"

Another Sign on My Wall

In January I started a series of posts about intent and things I do to help me hold my intent and stay on track. I got sidetracked with all the postings about my show, Markings: Repetition and Pattern, now on exhibit in Boulder but it felt like a good day to write about fear so I’m combining the two topics.

In 1998 or 1999 I read Who Moved My Cheese along with millions of other people.

My favorite quote from the book, which I immediately wrote on a piece a paper and hung on my studio wall:

Real Courage

I had just joined my first critique group and I was terrified. I had a group of women I respected that were going to tell me what they thought of my art. I started to second guess everything I was doing in my studio. What would they say, would like like it, could I handle their comments?

The fear ground my art production to a near halt. I remember sitting for long periods of time staring at this sign. Slowly I let the message sink in and I went back to work.

Real courage is not about waiting until the fear is gone before you proceed. It’s about proceeding in the face of fear. I rarely let fear stop me from creating now but I can still taste that feeling I had almost 10 years ago. And I’m not going back there.

I still have self doubts but I don’t let those voices speak very loudly anymore. I now act as if I am not afraid and move forward and the fear slowly dissolves.

Enough Time

When I wrote the post about there always being enough time to do the important things in my life, I mentioned that when we find ourselves not doing something it is likely to be something that we don’t really value.

The other thing I find is that I avoid things that I am afraid of. I use the excuse there is no time to do it, but the reality is I’m afraid of it. Recognizing this fear and admitting to it is a huge first step to just getting on with things. To having the courage to do it anyway.

Fear is not comfortable but the only way I know to make it go away is to face it head on. It’s why my word for the year is courage. Much of the marketing stuff I used to claim I don’t have time for is really stuff I’m afraid of doing. My intention is to become a self supporting artist and to hold this intention I have to face fear every day and just do the marketing work anyway.

Markings #10

Back in October I posted some images of Markings #10 in progress that capture the texture that is created with my extensive surface stitching. This piece is the largest artwork I’ve made to date (not counting traditional bed quilts I’ve made) at almost 37 square feet. It took me 55 hours to do the surface stitching on the entire piece.

It also speaks to what I wrote about Friday, the disruptions in the pattern. I feel that without the unexpected changes in the pattern, my art and my life would get a bit monotonous and stale. The trick is to appreciate these disruptions for the beauty they provide instead of getting bent out of shape, just like the mice in Who Moved My Cheese.

Related Holding Intent Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I [Realistic Goals]
Holding Intent - Part II [Excuses]
Holding Intent - Part III [Focus]
Holding Intent - Part IV [Enough Time]
Holding Intent - Part V [Self Care]

OC#9 ©2007 David Castle 12"x12"

Self Care

Lately I have been practicing abundant self care. I believe this is an important element to holding intent. Self love and self care are super important pieces to living the life I want. When I set an intent or a goal I find it easier to hold that intent or complete that goal if I am at peace with myself.

Here are some things I’ve done in the last month as part of my self care:

• Start acupuncture. I’ve thought out this many times but I wasn’t on first name terms with needles so I was never willing to take the leap. Then Alyson Stanfield posted a referral for an acupuncturist and I took this as a sign it was time to become buddies with the needles. I had my second treatment today with Renae Einspahr and I’m hooked. Good thing my insurance pays for this cause I can see it a frequent element of my self care.
• Buy art I love. I’ve always wanted to purchase some of David Castle’s art and now the piece above is part of my collection. I love his work. You can read about how he makes these amazing water media pieces on his blog.
• Drinking plenty of water is something I have to work at, it doesn’t come naturally for me yet. I’m working on adding this to my daily ritual as I feel tons better when I’m well hydrated.
• I decided to celebrate my sense of well being today by buying myself a big box of my favorite chocolates. Yum. Why wait for someone else to pamper me when I can pamper myself. Expecting someone else to treat me better than I treat myself is a recipe for unhappiness.
• It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or what the weather is like, I always feel happier if I’ve been outside for a while. I would like to fit a walk into my life every day and I’m working up to that goal. Last friday the sun had the first hint of heat in it peaking through the bite of the cold wind and on saturday it was down right warm. It felt incredible.
• My cats are really missing my kids. [they are in Europe with their father for 3 months. Two down, 1 more to go. The cats aren’t the only ones missing them.] I’m spending much more time each day sitting and petting my cats. They are so excited to have me SIT DOWN. They have an internal radar for this activity and come running. "ohmygawd - she’s sat down and it’s not in front of the computer or sewing machine - quick jump in her lap!". Not only do the cats love it but slowing down like this has brought a lot of inner peace for me.

 
How do you practice self care?

Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I [Realistic Goals]
Holding Intent - Part II [Excuses]
Holding Intent - Part III [Focus]
Holding Intent - Part IV [Enough Time]

 
[I said I’d talk about fear this time but I didn’t want to go there tonight as the acupuncture and chocolate have lulled me into peacefulness. Next time.]

Structures #14    ©2003    29"x 35"

Enough Time

Most everyone has heard the story about putting rocks and pebbles and sand in a jar (if not look here). The basic idea is you have to the do the important stuff first or you won’t find time for it. The other stuff will fit in around the big stuff.

This is my version (another of the notes I have posted in my studio):

When I first read this quote years ago it was a good reminder that I really do have time for all the important things in my life. To me this said it was about making the choice to do so.

So I put this quote on my wall to remind me that I chose to believe I have time. My thoughts and attitude about my life create my life. If I believe I have time, I do and I truly believe I have enough time.

I remember showing this to a friend that is always stressed out and saying how busy she is. Doesn’t matter what she’s doing she’s harried and complains about lack of time. She looked at this sign when I put it up and said "that’s not true". Years later she’s still living her life on overdrive saying she never has time for all the stuff she wants.

Maybe she’s busier than me. Or maybe we just view life differently. I know I have time for a full time job, kids, family, friends, home, a garden, laughter and also an art career. I believe it - so it is so.

Priorities

There may not be enough hours in the day for everything I might possibly want to do but there is always time for the stuff I really really care about. That’s the other message I get from this note on my wall. That’s it’s about identifying the important stuff.

If I start feeling overwhelmed I review where I’ve been spending my time. Is it on important things? Generally when I’m feeling stressed I find I’ve been spending my time doing things that aren’t all that important. Like checking email a zillion times a day or writing a blog post when what I really wanted to do was work in my studio. Unconscious behavior like this is a good way to get off track.

When I refocus on the present and get back to the tasks that I currently feel are important my life, goals and intent all just fall into place.

Sifting out the Junk

When I go for days, weeks, month and maybe even years not putting time into something I claim is important, I take this as a sign to reevaluate how important that thing really is to me. If I’m not finding time for it, does that mean I need to let the thing go? Instead of being a priority maybe it’s really an energy drain. Often I find that to be the case.

I have to be careful here, because sometimes I’m not doing what I want for other reasons. Fear often being one of the biggest factors, which will lead me to my next post.

Right now my brain is say Didn’t you say you were going to get Markings #19 finished tonight?  so time to stop writing and get to the studio.

Popsicles

For a few years I had the above photo on the wall right in front of my sewing machine. Some time after completing Structures #14, at the top of this post, I realized I’d finally made my popsicle piece. So I took down the photo and glued it into my sketchbook. It’s funny how inspiration works even though you aren’t consciously aware of it at the moment.

Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I
Holding Intent - Part II
Holding Intent - Part III

Structures #65    ©2007    49"x 51"

Staying

For years I’ve had inspirational signs in my home and studio. These daily reminders help keep me on track so I can hold my intent and meet my goals.

The simplest one is a single word:

I find this to be a great reminder to snap back to the present. It’s so easy to get lost in thought and minutes, hours and even days can go by with no idea of what I’ve done. Although I make a lot of goals for the future, this is a reminder that the future will only happen if I focus on the present and do what I intend to do.

Staying in the present is a key element to holding intent for me.

Structures #65

The above piece was completed early last year but my attempts at photographing it were less than successful. I posted an image of it in progress a year ago here that is rather dull. As a result this piece has never seen the light of day. We’ll see if I can remedy that this year.

This piece is heavily textured with stitched parallel black thread lines that are 1/8" to 3/16" apart. Adding all of that black thread on top of the bright colored fabric was an interesting experiment. I love the effect on this piece. You can see this better in the detail image:

 
 
Bonus points to the person that can point out what changed in the design between the in progress shot of Structures #65 and the final piece above.

 

Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I
Holding Intent - Part II

Structures #8    ©2002    39"x 86"

Stop Complaining

Late last year I committed to going 21 days complaint free, in a row. I’ve succeeded in this task a few single days and I’m now very aware of my behavior. It’s been a humbling and eye opening experience but also a very positive one and I’m sure I will be successful as it is a priority.

I find letting go of the negativity is a huge help in holding intent in all areas of my life. I just do stuff, instead of making up excuses and complaining about why I can’t.

 
Along those lines I find this Nike video to be very powerful. I don’t like it when I sound like this:

Structures #8

I’ve been reprocessing some older images, this one included. I decided to flip the image and show it horizontal in this post as that was how it was originally designed. It can be hung either horizontal or vertical. I wrote about making this piece a while back in this article. Short story is that it was the result of living in New Zealand for 5 months.

Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I

Markings #3    ©2006    74"x66"

Goals vs. Intent

In my last post I talked about setting intent and promised next to talk about how I hold that intent.

I know I have a reputation of getting lots done and when it comes to achieving goals I have some of this figured out. Although I don’t think in a healthy way. I’m great at setting goals and marching towards reaching them. Setting intent is a deeper practice and something I just started working on. I want to focus on intent with these posts but I’ll talk about goals also.

Unrealistic Goals

I have set an intent to have tremendous joy in my studio this year. I’m changing how I approach my studio time to honor the intent and to be an artist in a more healthy and positive way. It’s been an interesting process of learning to let go of the pressure to be in my studio but also getting things done. I’m only just beginning to understand how to do this.

With my solo show coming up in 4 weeks I panicked last week and made an insane schedule for my studio. A year ago I wouldn’t have thought it crazy. Just challenging. I spent the long weekend freaking out and doing just about anything other than studio work. I uploaded dozens of pictures to smugmug, I sorted through stuff in my basement to get rid of, I started reorganizing my studio, I photographed artwork, I cooked some yummy soup, etc.

I also saw myself falling back on patterns that don’t serve me. I didn’t go hiking and didn’t even get out for a walk as I promised myself, telling myself I didn’t have time. I ate junkier food. I surfed around the internet doing nothing.

I suspect I was rebelling against the ridiculous idea that I needed to make 8 new pieces in 4 weeks. Sure I could do it because it was a goal - I’m good and marching towards goals while letting the rest of my life become a wreck but it went completely against my intent for joy in the studio.

Realistic Goals

So I’ve shredded the schedule and decided I don’t need any more new work at all for my 2 solo shows. I have tons of excellent work that will make awesome exhibits. I started my Markings Series 2 years ago for exactly this show - I’ve got 19 completed pieces and room to hang only 12-15 of them. Of these 19 pieces only 2 have ever been in shows and most I’ve never even posted on the internet. Why would I need more? I don’t!

I have to give thanks to Christine Kane for helping with this realization. I recognized the unhealthy behavior (the first step in realizing I’m not holding my intent) and knew I needed to do something different. With her prodding I was able to take the necessary steps to dump the unhealthy behavior. I can’t recommend Christine’s eseminars enough for this type of self understanding.

Alignment

I’m back to my studio this week and loving it. I’m creating because I want to create not because I have to. One of the things I most love is making art, but the last year or two I’ve made it unfun in many ways. I’m now ready to embrace the joy again.

The goals I set need to be in alignment to my deeper intent. Then I know I can achieve both.
 

Materials Hard and Soft

The above piece is part of Materials Hard & Soft at the center for visual arts in Denton, Texas, which opens this weekend. Another of the juried shows I entered last fall. The runs through March 20, 2008.

Deanna Wood sent me an email the other day saying she had seen some of the show as they were hanging it and it looked great and my piece was up and looked nice. Yay - thanks for the note Deanna!

Center for Visual Arts
400 East Hickory St.
Denton, Texas 76201
Phone: 940-382-2787
Open 1-5pm Tuesday - Sunday
www.dentonarts.com