Lisa Call

Structures #96    ©2008    16.5"x 28"

Toxic People and Behaviors

I was reading an email yesterday that recommended making a list of all the people in my life and putting a + or - next to each of them to see if there is a pattern for the toxic people in my life. I put a bit of thought into this but didn’t get far. My mind took a leap and I started thinking that the non supportive/negative people in my life were most likely a result of negative thinking and behavior on my part.

Seemed to me instead of focusing on the symptom (people I’ve allowed into my life that I feel are not supportive) that I’d be better off focusing on the cause (my own negative thoughts and behaviors). I can’t change the behavior of the people in my life but I can change myself.

I also believe there are no longer people in my life that I feel are unsupportive. I’ve found that as I focus more on the positive and once I got clear in how I wanted to be treated, the people that didn’t share those choices moved on. As I shed my negative thoughts the people that came with those unhealthy patterns also disappeared.

Not To Do List

Many books about getting organized and getting things done talk about the importance of making a not-to-do-list. Here’s mine. If I catch myself doing or thinking these things I change my thoughts and behavior to something more nurturing and positive.

• Negative thinking.
• Getting hooked into other people’s negative thinking.
• Complaining.
• Criticizing.
• Whining.
• Gossiping and Colluding.
• Checking email 4000 times a day.
• Reading blogs more than 1 hour a day.
• Surfing the internet when I could be doing something else (which is pretty much anytime).
• Checking Blog and Website stats more than once every 2 weeks.

To Do List

I’ve also thought a lot about my priorities and where I want to put my time and energy. Here is my short version of my to-do list:

• Being self accepting.
• Being authentic.
• Being honest.
• Being kind.
• Being generous.
• Being gentle.
• Complimenting others.
• Feeling gratitude.
• Living in the present.
• Going for walks.
• Working in my studio with no expectations.
• Hanging out with my kids.
• Spending time with my friends and family.
• Gardening and cooking.
• Living healthy
• Living life effortlessly.

Not Finishing

A final no-to-do - leaving my artwork unfinished. I thought I had Structures #95 and Structures #96 finished but last night as I was packaging them up to mail them off to my solo show at Lux, Fencing In or Keeping Out, (opens April 4 - more on that tomorrow or thursday) I discovered I didn’t have the hanging mechanism (a fabric tube) or labels sewn on to them. Oops!

I’ll chalk this one up to my Getting Things Done approach to stuff starting after I dropped the ball on this work.

 
Do you keep a not-to-do-list?

Structures #8    ©2002    39"x 86"

Stop Complaining

Late last year I committed to going 21 days complaint free, in a row. I’ve succeeded in this task a few single days and I’m now very aware of my behavior. It’s been a humbling and eye opening experience but also a very positive one and I’m sure I will be successful as it is a priority.

I find letting go of the negativity is a huge help in holding intent in all areas of my life. I just do stuff, instead of making up excuses and complaining about why I can’t.

 
Along those lines I find this Nike video to be very powerful. I don’t like it when I sound like this:

Structures #8

I’ve been reprocessing some older images, this one included. I decided to flip the image and show it horizontal in this post as that was how it was originally designed. It can be hung either horizontal or vertical. I wrote about making this piece a while back in this article. Short story is that it was the result of living in New Zealand for 5 months.

Related Posts

Transitioning and Intent
Holding Intent - Part I

Quote by Maya Angelou:

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.

Excellent article by Christine Kane related to gossiping. There is also a second part.

Not complaining/gossiping for 21 days is a very difficult challenge. Step 1 - I become more and more aware of my words each day.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday - no matter what holiday that might have been. I spent yesterday in my studio designing 3 new pieces for my solo show in February. I determined I’d like to make 9 new pieces for this show between now and Feb 20th.

My solo show will be at the Andrew J. Macky Gallery in Boulder opens February 20th. This is the same place where I had my first solo show 2 years ago and the space is gorgeous. I’ll be exhibiting 12-16 new pieces in my Markings series in 2008.

 
I removed my last post (about what I want to call my artwork). I don’t feel I’m communicating my thoughts very clearly so instead of trying to explain myself I decided to just remove the post and when my thoughts are clearer I will try again.

Monday I decided to take the 21 day challenge.

No complaints, criticisms or gossiping for 21 days. In a row. I complain, I start over. According to the new book based on the Complaint Free World it might take me from 4-8 months to accomplish this goal.

Monday went pretty well for my first day.

And then tuesday morning I got an email I’ve been hoping I get for the last few months. Back in October I tried to sign up for Christine Kane’s Great Big Dreams Retreat but it filled up as I was working through the registration process. I was bummed but I asked to be put on the wait list.

Sure enough, I got an email from Christine there was an opening for exactly what I had hoped for. I just bought my airline tickets and I’ll be headed to North Carolina at the end of this month.

I post a lot about my goals for my art career in my blog and in other places I track other goals in my life - financial, personal, family, etc. My desire for 2008 is to take a more holistic approach to my life and to think about how all of it ties together and make broader plans for how I will fulfill my own great big dreams.

I’m looking forward to starting down this path in a few weeks with Christine as I love her blog and her outlook on life.