Shaking Self Doubt

Willows - October 5 2008 Colorado ©2008 Lisa Call

Self Doubts

This afternoon I returned home from a wonderful weekend in the mountains with Jim followed by brunch with some artist friends. It was an excellent weekend. [photo above taken on a beautiful drive we took on saturday].

Not long after returning home I found myself in a less than happy mood full of the type of self doubts that rarely rear their ugly head anymore. Keeping a gratitude journal and focusing on all the positive things in my life the past year has really helped keep me grounded.

But for some reason this afternoon my mind was saying something like this:

Why are you making art? Why not just go to the day job and come home and relax? Making art is a lot of work and what do you have to show for it? Why are you building a studio? Do you really think you deserve a huge new studio in this economy? Why are you making art anyway? What value does it have? Why do you think you can sell it and live off your art? Get real.

etc, etc. I suspect most artists can relate.

I knew I was headed in a bad direction that could bring art production to a halt for the week and possibly the month, if I continued to have this little pity party for myself.

So I took a nap since I lack motivation to do anything else. I woke up in the same mood.

So I called a friend and whined. They were supportive as they could be but I was being annoying and this little pity party wasn’t going to go away after a few nice words. This was my responsibility to end, not someone else.

Score One for My Mind

So I thought to myself: you have been here before and you have 2 choices. Let this win and spend the entire evening/week/month online doing nothing or maybe you could try something different and just get over yourself.

So I went to my studio and just got to work making art. I wandered off after 10 minutes but pulled myself back to the studio after a bit. I was determined that even if I couldn’t shake the feeling I was going to at least get something done.

I was in a pretty pissy mood and had plenty of negative thoughts and it was rough going at first. I tried to think of something I was grateful for and could think of nothing. Eventually I got the focus to interrupt the stream of negativity and reminded myself how much I love to make art and slowly I could bring in other things I was grateful for.

My mantra was "Art is valuable, My art is valuable". I started repeated it over and over again when I caught my mind having a little pity party.

I also asked myself what I was gaining by thinking all these negative thoughts. I can’t say I came up with a good answer for this but I did decide I wasn’t gaining anything I wanted and that helped to put an end to the unpleasantness in my head.

After 3 1/2 hours the positive thoughts won and the self doubt and negative voice was put back in the box as it doesn’t serve me right now. Yay.

I’m really excited about the textile painting I was working on and Home #2 should be done tomorrow and I’ll post a photo of it.


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Teams and Sprints

Cool rock seen while hiking in Colorado ©2008 Lisa Call

 
Another post in my series on Scrum and My Art Business.

My last post I talked about User Stories. I was going to write about managing tasks in this post but realized I needed to cover some more basics first.

The Team

In a previous post I introduced the product owner as one of 3 roles in scrum. The other 2 roles are Scrum Master and Team Member.

Each scrum team typically has these members:

  • 1 Product Owner - who writes the user stories, brings the vision for the product to the team and prioritizes the work to be done
  • 1 Scrum Master - who gets rid of impediments that are stopping the team from getting their work done (more on this role later)
  • 5-9 Team Members - who do the work. From design and architecture to coding and testing.

In my art business there is only 1 person to play all roles. The past month it’s been interesting to think about the difference between each of them. I find I excel at the product owner stuff of bringing vision and thinking up things to do. I’m less effective at actually doing it, not because I can’t, but because I get distracted. So I think I could be a better scrum master and keep myself on track better.

This weekend I unplugged my computer and removed it from my studio/bedroom - the result was 16 hours spent making art. Score one for the scrum master on that decision.

Iterate

One of the key features of scrum, and most agile software development processes, is that the work is divided up into iterations. A group of work is selected to be done for each of those iterations. In scrum those iterations are called sprints (because they had to come up with new words for everything).

Scrum is a series of sprints, typically anywhere from 2-4 weeks in length, that follow this structure

  1. Planning Meeting - The teams select a set of stories to complete in the sprint.
  2. The Sprint - The team works on those stories during the sprint.
  3. Sprint Review - At the end of the sprint the team demonstrate the complete work to the product owner for approval.
  4. Sprint Retrospective - The team holds a meeting to evaluate how the sprint went so they can adapt and do better next round.

Repeat these 4 steps over and over and over without end. Every once in a while the software is released to customers and developers move onto the next release with new functionality in the next sprint.

Planning

At the beginning of a sprint the team sits down and decides how much work they can do during that sprint. The stories are prioritized by the product owner, so the team selects the highest priority stories. Each story is also estimated in size. So the team picks the amount of work, based on the size of the stories, that they feel they can complete in the sprint.

Prioritization and Estimation are black arts in the world of software development and maybe not so different for an artist so I’ll touch on these topics again in future posts.

By doing the planning at the beginning of each sprint, instead of all of it up front at the beginning of the project, it is possible to make better informed decisions about planning as the project matures. It’s a fallacy to think the scope of a software project can be determined up front and locked into place. Scrum allows for a more natural way of planning and prioritizing the work.

I think this fits the needs for an art career well. As new opportunities arise and details of existing ones are made more clear, replanning each month allows an artist to reprioritize the importance of each of the goals.

I’m trying out some of these ideas and have decided on doing sprints of 1 calendar month. At the beginning of September I selected some user stories to work on for the month by looking through all of the work I wanted to do.

Sprinting

During the sprint the team members do the work to complete the user stories. They hold a daily meeting in which each member answers these questions:

  1. What did I do today
  2. What am I going to do tomorrow
  3. What (if anything) is blocking me from doing my work

It is through these meetings, and the amazing power of peer pressure, that the team functions without an authoritarian model. If you had to stand up at work each day and be held accountable to your teammates for pulling your own weight, the theory is you will actually do your work, vs surf the internet and buy stuff from amazon and ebay.

I’ve mentioned before that I have an artist mastermind group that I email every night answering exactly these 3 questions. While we are not a team, in that we are working towards a common group vision, having to say to other people "err - didn’t do a darn thing - again" is huge motivation to keep on track.

I highly recommend this type of group activity. I found my mastermind partners during the Artist Breakthrough Program” I took with Alyson Stanfield last spring. We’ve been emailing almost daily for months now and I know for me personally it is huge.

The Review - And Done

At the end of the sprint the team demonstrates the software they completed. Only user stories that fit the definition of done are demonstrated (see my previous post on this topic of what done means.) Almost done or close to done don’t count.

The product owner looks at what the software does and decides yes or no if it is acceptable. How do they decide? It’s based on the acceptance criteria for the user story (see the section on testing in this post about users stories for details on acceptance criteria.) If the product owner either accepts or rejects the work.

Any story that is rejected or that does not fit the definition of done is moved back to the list of incomplete user stories and is placed in a future sprint during a planning meeting.

I’m about 1/3 of the way through my first art sprint so I can’t report on how this might look but I’m hoping I don’t reject too much of my own work as not good enough.

I’ve been doing planning in iterations for my art career for a while now, and again I use my mastermind group to keep me on track. I’ve tried weekly goals and 2 week goals and monthly goals. Again emailing to the other artists what I hope to do for the month and how that month went. So I’ll continue doing that as a part of my sprint reviews.

The Retrospective

The adaptive nature of scrum is a very important piece of the process so I’ll devote more time to this later also. If you aren’t thinking about how things went and changing behavior based on those observations you aren’t doing scrum. And really, you aren’t being very smart about life.

We’ve all heard the saying: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

It’s really rather obvious, but it’s also not so easy to implement.

The Rock

The photo at the top of this post has nothing to do with scrum but I like it so there it is. Another photo from hiking in Colorado. The water looks golden because of the pebbles underneath.

Click on the image for a larger picture and more rock details (I love rocks). It looks totally cool with my LED fancy screen on my laptop, which hasn’t yet been color calibrated so who knows what colors you might be seeing.


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Reward

Abstract Textile Painting / Artist Card / ACEO #7 ©2008 by Lisa Call

ACEO #7
3 1/2″ x 2 1/2″
sold

 
Abstract Textile Painting / Artist Card / ACEO #10 ©2008 by Lisa Call

ACEO #10
3 1/2″ x 2 1/2″
sold

 
Abstract Textile Painting / Artist Card / ACEO #11 ©2008 by Lisa Call
ACEO #11
3 1/2″ x 2 1/2″
$21

Motivation Revisited

I wrote an article about motivation in my latest studio newsletter outlining 5 steps I take to stay motivated and on task to complete large projects (you can read it here - it’s the 3rd article: studio newsletter).

Another thing I do to keep motivated is to give myself rewards along the way and when the goal is reached. Nothing like getting something I really want to keep me moving forward. Sometimes it’s a simple as a container of expensive decadent ice cream or new art book to keep me plowing through a task. The best reward for doing household chores is a few hours in my studio.

Dell Studio 17

My big reward for getting my house sold and moving to my new home was to buy myself a new laptop. My old computer was 7 years old and not in the best shape. I upgraded the memory last year and that helped but it really needed to be put to sleep. In addition, having the big thing in my bedroom/studio/office was heating up the room and it was taking up way too much space.

So I ordered myself a "desktop replacement" laptop, which means it is big and heavy. It’s a Dell Studio 17 (17″ screen) with a fast processor, 4 gig of memory, beautiful high resolution screen and even a finger print scanner for security (okay - so it came installed - it’s kinda silly and I have no time to set it up right now but it’s still a fun toy). And best of all it’s orange.

I also bought my kids new laptops, also with 17″ screens, but theirs’ were Dell Inspiron 1720s and instead of an ATI video card they had nVIDIA. A few weeks after the computers arrived I found out that these graphic cards are probably faulty. HP has been offering extended warranties for effect computers but Dell is still dragging their feet. It looked like a situation I didn’t want any part of so I shipped the kids’ laptops back this morning and will replace them with Studio 17s with the ATI video cards.

Their laptops aren’t quite as nice as mine, but still way nicer than any kid might need. They were a big help during the move and deserve a reward also. I’ve also told them these laptops are their birthday presents, xmas presents and bribery for helping me move out and back in for the remodel. They grumble a bit with that comment but they are happy to have such nice computers they aren’t really complaining.

 
 
Abstract Textile Painting / Contemporary Art Quilt - Markings #21 ©2008 by Lisa Call

Markings #21 In Progress   ©2008

ACEOs For Sale

There are still 3 ACEO’s available for sale that I made last month to include with my newsletter. If you are interested in purchasing one (shown above) please send me email and let me know which one you’d like. They are $21 US and include shipping to anywhere. These 3 Art Trading Cards were all inspired by Markings #21,.

ACEO stands for “art cards, editions and originals”. Originally known as ATC, Artist Trading Card, and are traded between artists. When sold to the public they are referred to as ACEOs. The primary rule for an ACEO or ATC is they be 3 1/2″ x 2 1/2″ - the size of a trading card. They are created in many different mediums and are collectible, trade able and affordable art for everyone.


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Markings #21 in progress

Progress in the Studio

Abstract Contemporary Textile Painting / Art Quilt Markings #21 ©2008 Lisa Call

Markings #21 In Progress

I’ve spent time in my studio every day this week. Making progress on Markings #21 (only 2 more panels at the top right to construct then the fun part of fitting the sections together. This final stage of construction is fairly important and I always feel I could ruin the entire thing if it doesn’t go well.

I’m also making progress on the ACEO’s that I’ll make available with my studio newsletter. I anticipate sending it via email on sunday. I had a lot of fun designing new work (first time in months) so I ended making 5 of them, all of them based on Markings #21.

Progress with Everything

Two weeks ago I posted the following list as my goals for the upcoming 2 weeks, during which my kids have been at camp. I have 2 days left to complete everything and so far I think I can get it all done. Depends on how motivated I remain this weekend.

Here’s how I’m doing so far:

  • Unpack entire house. DONE - at least done enough to live comfortably until we move out again for the remodel. I’ll post photos soon to compare to the cramped look we had on moving day.
  • Set up studio. DONE - although small and I have to juggle things around a bit ,it’s quite reasonable
  • Make small art for studio newsletter. Very close to done - another hour tomorrow and I’ll wrap it up.
  • Write and send my second studio newsletter. All I have here is an outline.
  • Catch up with the very many outstanding requests for photos, info, etc of my art. I’ve put many many hours into this task - came up with a list of over 30 projects to deal with. So I won’t finish them all but I’m dealing with the most outstanding requests now and more importantly I feel on top of the business side of art again.
  • Find all my dye supplies and dye fabric with my childhood friend, Kelly, over the weekend. DONE and very fun - see photos in this post about dyeing fabric.
  • Process the 400+ pictures taken while in Montana (my kids went a bit nuts with the camera - I think well over half are to be deleted). I downloaded them to my computer then forgot about them. This is lowest priority for the weekend.
  • Figure out timeline and budget for getting house repaired and possible addition added, talk to 3 builders and select one to do the work. DONE - the builder came and measured the house and is starting the ‘as-built’ drawings this weekend.

Saturday and Sunday I’ll be focusing on my newsletter and wrapping up a few more of the outstanding art requests. And finishing construction of the composition of Markings #21 (next up will be doing the surface stitching on the piece). Markings #21 didn’t make the todo list but I couldn’t resist working on a big art project this week.


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